MMAniacs

If it's UFC, MMA, BJJ or even JKD, it's a BFD to me!

UFC 113: Home of the rematch, revile and really nasty

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Machida versus Shogun in Montreal at UFC 113

A Shogun against a Dragon. You tell me?!

As with back in the day of pre-PPV pugilism, weigh-ins always carry a bit of drama.

Testosterone is overwrought with this juvenile angst that hasn’t been this bad since the town ho asked you to the prom. Boys just can’t control themselves, I suppose. Take Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis. Remember this?

Mike grabs the goods and it’s on. Of course, one of the most famous weigh-ins with Ali and Sonny Liston gave one of the most famous catch phrases, “Fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee.”

Today’s weigh-in for UFC 113 | Machida V. Shogun 2 highlighted everything you want in a pre-fight confrontation – mean mugging, idle threats and candid discussion of bodily functions.

But more on that later.

This pay-per-view has the makings of a great card. A Shogun, a Dragon, a Belcher, a Predator, a Heathen, a Janitor… and what the hell is a Semtex anyway? Here’s the highlights and MMAniac’s musings:

1. The reverb – Cote v. Belcher

Don’t sleep here. This could be the ever-heralded “Fight of the Night” and the home town will go bananas. Why? Ever since UFC 90 and a knee surgery that shelved Patrick Cote, dude has angled to get back in the cage and show that he is more than a chin and punch.

And Belcher is nowhere close to being stupid. He knows about the knee, the layoff and the home crowd. He will work to knock Cote clean out and do it early. Both can submit. Both can bang. Both will fight balls out. Both wants the win. One has a rehabbed knee and the other knows how to kick the crap out of it.

MMAniac’s Submission: Belcher – Unanimous decision.


2. The really nasty – Kimbo v. Mitrione

Here’s the “more on that later” brought to you by Kimbo Slice.

Get that?

“I’m gonna thump. I’m banging with him,” Kimbo said of his upcoming fight with Matt Mitrione. “I’m gonna try to make him bleed, piss, fart, [expletive], throw up, burp, whatever the human body does.”

I get it. Two years ago, when Kimbo got punked on national TV, I would lost so much money if you were to tell me he would be on a UFC, Dana-White-promoted PPV. But there he is discussing pee-pee and the devil’s business right there on TV.

Since that fateful night, he has learned a ground game. He already has the cinder blocks attached to his wrists, the bravado you can’t buy and a beard I think could kick the ass of half of the people in Strikeforce. And if lands half a suplex like he did on my man, Houston Alexander… son!

However, “Meathead” has some quick hands… and good aim. Personally, I can’t stand the dude and laughed out loud when that slob took off his shirt at weigh-ins, but you can’t deny his – albeit rotten egg raw – skill.

This fight is going to go 0 – 100 in seconds but after the first round, it’s over. They will both pass out. Kimbo’s cardio is reminiscent of my father’s… and he’s 70. Mitrione – “Pro”-ish football or not would get gassed running down the block to the ice cream man.

MMAniac’s Submission: Kimbo, 2nd, TKO (probably through ground and pound)


Semtex and Kos staring each other down for UFC 113

These #$%&* are going to get ready to rumble!

3. The revile – Koscheck v. Daley

Make no mistake. These two will not exchange gifts at some random “White Elephant” during the holidays. Rather, they will yank the tusks out of the grill of said pachyderm and stab the other in the jugular.

It’s no secret that while Josh can knock a guy clean out (ask Yoshida about that), Daley has a pack of dynamite in his left hand.

Dude can flat-out mash; however, he will be wary of Koscheck taking this to the ground at the first sniff of tweeting birds.

He has a nice sprawl (ask Jake Shields) and MEMO to Kos: This guy ain’t Anthony Johnson.

This fight has to stay standing. As much as these two loathe each other, I’m certain neither Daley nor Koscheck would be thrilled with a split decision win. Also, there’s a clear “Who’s Next” moniker going to this one for a shot at GSP.

Oh, and then there’s this from Dana White via Twitter:

Gsp will be the next coach on the next season of tuf and the winner of kos and daley will be the other coach. Big fight for them sat nite!!!

Not that I can see Georges St. Pierre exchanging “Your Mama” jokes with either Koscheck or Daley, but MMA fans have been of good heart that the Welterweight icon would get on TUF 12. Now he’s there and either would be a nice counterpart.

However, I think Koscheck’s ego gets the best of him, he stays on his feet and gets knocked on his back.

MMAniac’s Submission: Daley, 3rd, KO


Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua stand off and stare down

Lyoto looks like he has a chip. He's going to need it.

4. The rematch – Machida v. Rua 2

Most of us are martial artists, I would presume. All of us are aficionados of a discipline. Machida is a master of both.

Some folk have a hard time telling the difference between a Lyoto Machida fight and a sleep with Prince Valium – both have the same effect. However, I love his game – his methodical approach, his calculated strikes, his unmistakable delivery.

That said, I hated his first defense. Although he came out and represented, we all saw why we loved Shogun in Pride so much. The man is a machine.

“Don’t leave it in the hands of the judges,” Dana White usually clamors.

And for good reason. Apparently, most of them have glaucoma. This was clearly evident with Rua lost the fight.

MMA fans were outraged and immediately demanded the rematch. Much to our delight, Dana White continued to be the people’s champion.

Here we are. Ready to rumble. It’s time. And all that mess.

You know the chess match is taking place and both will change how they approach this fight in comparison to last time. That is with one exception – Shogun will kick and kick and kick the living hell out of Machida’s legs. With no wheels, it’s hard for the Dragon to get rolling.

Lyoto knows this, which is why I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes this to the ground in the championship rounds and works a submission. After all, who is his little buddy? A big, nasty Spider.

In addition, I think the dealbreaker is not Anderson’s tutelage or Machida’s skill. Rather, it’s Dana White. This is a man who greeted Rua in the cage with accolades, “You won the fight.”

Although that was true by most accounts, it put a dragon-sized turd chip on the shoulder of Lyoto Machida. He’s pissed and he’s got something to prove. Don’t blink, but he will.

MMAniac’s Submission: Machida, 4th, TKO and still Light Heavyweight Champion

See you Sunday. I would say tomorrow night, but I have a feeling I will… well, I won’t be here, let’s just say that.

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Where in the Brilz did Forrest go for UFC 114?

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Jason Brilz fighting Eliot Marshall, now against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira

What's the bigger story? Brilz getting the fight or the ass on this guy?!

Ever since Forrest Griffin scooted out of the Octagon like Anderson Silva owed him money, the man who practically put the modern-day UFC on the map has been an enigma.

MMA Lifers know he has trained. We know he will make his comeback. We know he has been saying his prayers and taking his viter… wrong sport. Sorry.

Anywhoo, Forrest Griffin’s return to balls-out bashing has been long-awaited by many. And now, thanks to the news today (I saw the first tweet about it from Bleacher Report), we will be waiting even longer.

An injured shoulder has forced the former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion to pull out of his match with Antonio Rogerio Nogueira.

I’m fairly certain air quotes should be inferred with injured shoulder because waiting on Forrest to come back at full strength has been a plight to say the least – and I’m a fan of his scrappy, tenacious attitude. Like he said, “I’m a dog. I fight. That’s what I do.”

I’m down, but where in the hell is he?

Ever since Rashad twisted his nipples and pounded Griffin from inside his guard, things have been a little shaky on Planet Forrest. And now he is plagued with a shoulder injury against what many believe to be the last shot for him to get back in title contention and in good graces with MMA fans.

So, while we all wait for Forrest’s triumphant return to the Octagon, I have one question: Who the hell is Jason Brilz?!

According to Sherdog.com, this cat has a stout 18-2-1 record with 5 TKOs and 9 submissions. Seems well-grounded but um, you sure that was the only dude who would take Lil’ Nog on short notice? I believe Cagewriter Steve Cofield summarizes the MMA Nation’s confusion with this choice:

Griffin has wins over Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, and losses to Anderson Silva and Rashad Evans. Brilz has wins over Tim Boetsch and Eric Schafer, and his only UFC loss is to Eliot Marshall.

In other words, who the hell is Jason Brilz and why does he get a co-main event?

Jon Jones and Ryan Bader seem to be popular suggestions from the cheap seats, but no, we get stuck with a guy who needs a milk carton for recognition. Even a return to title contention match for Thiago Alves would have been welcomed, but bring on the Brilz.

I suppose something should be said for “What’s his fart” getting in the cage with Lil’ Nog, but anything is good if the fans get a first-round TKO, right?

Meanwhile, among the smattering of boos when Bruce Buffer introduces the “TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME” and brings on Mr. Brilz, there will be a few million people pondering, “Where is Forrest running now?”

For the sake of his career, the LHW division in UFC and my personal affinity, I hope not that far.

Did the Mayweather V. Mosley fight KO boxing for good?

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Money May beats Sugar Shane, stays unbeaten at 41-0

Sure Floyd was money, but was the cash the only thing? (Source: Ethan Miller/Getty via ESPN)

Although I am an avowed MMAniac, I give homage to the wrinkly old curmudgeon grandpappy of MMA that is boxing.

And Lord, have mercy, did that old geezer show his age with the Money May and Sugar Shane fight.

Don’t get me wrong, Floyd Mayweather winning 41 straight fights is no fluke. The guy is one of the best pound-for-pound fighters of our generation. Possibly of all time.

But he could be so much more than that for a sport that so desperately needs it.

What could have been the coronation of the Sweet Science’s global ambassador ended up as a testament to what he is all about – Money May and the Cash Grab. Mayweather may have won by a decision, but the sport lost in so many ways by their own decisions this night.

The fight began with a walk through time chronicling champions of the past – Sugar Ray Leonard, Tommy Hearns, Mike Tyson and the supreme fighter of all time, Mr. Muhammad Ali. (And for those who didn’t catch this boring crap, the applause Ali got when announced is spine chilling and heart warming.)

And it was downhill from there…

For starters, we lamented the musical stylings of Chris Brown, a man renowned for beating his woman and now singing the national anthem. At a boxing match?! Um, anyone besides my four-year-old daughter not see the clear lack of intelligence with this pick here?

Then, Mosley skips to his lou (Lou, being business partner Oscar de la Hoya standing in the ring) and comes out to “Till I Collapse” by Eminem. Again, omen anyone? The guy was gassed within four rounds. I thought he was about call an oxygen tank to his corner for support.

Not to be outdone, Mayweather files a tax return in the back while a 21-gun salute clamors to the tunes of “Money, Money, Money.” by the O’ Jays. Classic song. Typical choice.

Rounds 1 – 3 were nice. Mosley tripped a couple of times, probably still reeling from all the Geritol he swigged in his dressing room. Mayweather lands a couple of great combinations and looks as elusive as ever. I’m thinking we have a fight as I am feverishly writing some notes to what I believe is going to be a masterful blog entry.

Soon after, my eyes are heavy, my mouth is slightly open with an oozing of drool and I see cute, tiny cherubs circling overhead. In other words, that insomnifest was oh so boring. At the merciful end of 11 rounds, Floyd Mayweather won a unanimous decision.

Oh, and Strikeforce called, they want all their damn people back who crowded that ring. Sheesh.

What did we learn from all this pomp and circumstance? Check out yesterday’s post about Dana White’s snub in the Time 100 and you will get a clue.

Boxing is dead, and the only person who could have possibly resurrected the thing barely did enough to get his pulse above 130. To wit, all Mayweather had to say about not even sniffing a KO was:

“I wanted to give the fans what they wanted to see, a toe-to-toe battle,” said Mayweather, who has been criticized for fighting too defensively. “It wasn’t the same style for me but I wanted to be aggressive and I knew I could do it.”

The real battle was boxing trying to hold on to its purist fans and not allow MMA to roll it over with what appears to be another sweet card as Lyoto Machida and Shogun Rua get ready to get down at UFC 113.

Is Boxing Dead?

That sound you hear is "Taps" blowing. Softly.

MEMO to the Pure Pugilists: Boxing is about as ugly as Mike Tyson’s face ink. It’s dead. Put it out to pasture. Make some glue out of it. It’s okay.

We martial artists and MMA fans salute you. Although there is still one last glimmer of life with Pacquiao, without a demanding blood and whizz test, that glimmer is about to spark away.

Then what? Boxing has nothing to watch – no heavyweights or middleweights (always the life source of the sport). No big time promoters. Hell, if it wasn’t for the great Freddie Roach, boxing would have no notable people left.

What began in ancient Greece has ended in modern Vegas. The “Eye of the Tiger” clearly has Glaucoma or Cataracts. And even Rocky knew when to quit.

Man, it’s too bad “The Contender” was about as done as Mosley was after one round. Boxing sure could use something like… well, “The Ultimate Fighter” perhaps?

And so it begins.

Written by MMAniac

May 2, 2010 at 12:53 am

TIME: What does it take to be “influential” anyway?

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Dana White snubbed on Time 100 list at #96

Come on, Time. Tell him what influential means. (Courtesy: Esquire)

Every year, Time magazine puts out this much ballyhooed list of the “100 most influential people in the world.”

For the most part, it accurately provides a dazzling introspective on the people on this planet who are considered “movers and shakers.” Only this year, the magazine showed its colors.

Typically, they hide the list behind an array of tech geeks, politicians, athletes who created more trends than signatures, Hollywood celebs who are big philanthropists and the obligatory misanthrope that no one can explain but everyone admires.

This year, this list of douchebaggery included the likes of:

  • #1 Lady Gaga – Heads up the list with fashion that smacks of dumpster diving or shopping at Goodwill
  • #6 James Cameron – Just beat the #1 movie of all time with another one of his own flicks
  • #25 Neil Patrick Harris – For a funny show and bad show tunes?!
  • #28 Mo’Nique – She deserve every bit of love she gets lately (See? I’m not all heartless)
  • #32 Taylor Swift – No, I still don’t know why. In the studio, nice. On the stage, where’s the flying tomatoes
  • #40 Jon Stewart – If you catch the greatness of “The Daily Show,” you know why
  • #55 Billy Graham – Now, THIS is influential!
  • #84 Bristol Palin – Really? She gets knocked up and has her mama talk trash about it. Yeah, great stick she wields.

So, you would think if there is anyone in life to be more “influential” than Lady effin’ Gaga, who would it be?

Don’t hold your breath, MMA lifers. Our betrothed Dana White is cleaning up the gutters at #96. Seriously?! Here’s the write-up:

The sport White champions is officially called mixed martial arts, but he and his partners successfully branded it Ultimate Fighting, the name of their outfit, and that’s how it’s almost universally known — to the chagrin of other MMA organizers. By doing so, he has revived a spectacle that had fallen into such disrepute that it was once described as “human cockfighting.” Now professional boxing wishes it were Ultimate Fighting. White is the UFC’s public face, most pugnacious booster, No. 1 tweeter and most irrepressible fan — the ruler of Fight Club.

The guy doesn’t record music with a nice hook. He doesn’t drown policy in red tape (and gag other politicians with it). He doesn’t even minister to the world’s leaders. He has only taken a once-considered circus act into one of the top money earning sports in the country, in terms of brand loyalty, exposure and oh yeah, influence.

ESPN has put MMA in the crawl, for crying out loud. Yet, there’s Dana, scrubbing the bottom along with pond scum and those nasty bed mites you read about in investigative hotel reporting.

Pugilism used to be the great uniter of this country. Consider the glory days of boxing with Joe Louis and Rocky Marciano. Or more recent, in the PPV heyday with Sugar Ray, Marvelous and Iron Mike.

And now, fans of the fisticuffs have come back together – a little more rowdy, shredded with HGH (allegedly) and draped in an Affliction tee they bought in the Juniors section at JCPenney.

And for that, Dana gets #96 for his trouble. Ah well, where’s that birdcage? Polly needs a cage liner.

Written by MMAniac

May 1, 2010 at 8:43 am

What could Henderson do to UFC lightweights?

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Smooth Ben waxing a flow against Jamie Varner

The song "Ring my Bell" comes to mind. You?

WEC 48 was a great card full of solid matches, two zombies and one big juicy turkey leg ready for the holiday UFC… er, that other organization’s celebration.

One of the most pleasant surprises was the sheer domination of “Smooth” Ben Henderson and his slinky, flexy self against Donald Cerrone who tapped out in less than two minutes – that or go to sleep and use Smooth as a Snuggie.

The guy has a game that’s off the chain – sleek enough to avoid Gilbert Melendez, strong enough to force Frankie Edgar into a sprawling fit and tough enough to take a Ken-Flo elbow to his medulla and keep on ticking.

But would he tap to B.J. Penn? I realize Frankie is the champ, and rightly so, but Baby Jay is an icon in this weight class. The frustrating thing is Dana White is running UFC and WEC concurrently, so we will ever find out?

Dana thinks it is not out of the realm of possibility, according to MMAJunkie.com:

How do you manage two separate 155-pound divisions? UFC president Dana White recently said that the promotions will likely one day merge the two divisions into the UFC, but for now, he’s got another idea for his top WEC lightweights: send them to Japan.

I would be so down with that. These amazing athletes tear it up in the House of the Rising Sun and come back to the states and create an eclipse. Folk in the lightweight divisions wouldn’t know what hit them.

It makes sense because where do you rank the dude? He has plowed through every lightweight in the WEC like the stomach flu through a G.I. tract – nice, fast and easy. (Hey, you understood it, didn’t you? All right then.)

The aforementioned duo – Melendez and Aoki – just got down on the Strikeforce debacle with Gilbert getting down on the man sans tights. As soon as Ben completed the match, MMA aficionados began their fantasy MMA teams and the mêlée began for the lightweight draft:

“When I look at the rankings of many of you in here, it drives me [expletive] nuts,” White said. “Henderson, because he’s in the WEC, and we own the WEC, where’s he ranked right now with most of you guys? But if he was in [expletive] Japan or some other place, you guys would have him ranked No. 2. It drives me crazy.”

Contrary to what some may believe, the WEC is not the UFC “farm system.”

It is run independently of the UFC, but if people yell loud enough, there could be the same anomaly like what happened to the 170s – they are no longer in WEC and GSP has a home in the UFC of which he will probably never get evicted.

So, stand down, folks. So far, Smooth Ben is going nowhere but perhaps the deft troika of pound-for-pound champs need to shipped overseas to fulfill their destinies? Maybe then we could answer the question, “Could Smooth Ben best the works of B.J. Penn.”

I know. I know. Frankie is the champ, and rightly so but face it, Penn is an icon in the weight class. Who would you rather fight? Maybe Dana knows that answer as well. Time will certainly tell.

Written by MMAniac

April 28, 2010 at 10:30 pm

UFC Fight for the Troops going to Afghanistan soon

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Josh Koscheck versus Yoshiyuki Yoshida

From 2008 - The first. Certainly not the last. (Courtesy: UFC)

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Dana White is getting the camouflaged band back together for the third edition of “Fight for the Troops.”

He believes the biggest problem to date is how to take the equipment to a dangerous war zone – possibly fly everything in by helicopter the same day as the event, put on a show and get out as quickly as possible.

“We’re going to chopper in at night. There are a lot of people who are scared. (Announcer Joe Rogan) said, ‘Oh (expletive), we’re going to do what?’ We’re going to fly in, set this thing up as fast as we can and get the (expletive) out of there.”

And don’t sleep. This is the USO Tour in large doses of beef roids.

What Dana does with the machine he runs is how it should be. You know how many soldiers are die-hard MMA fans?

Here’s a hint: they hunt, protect and kill for a living. You would think horse racing may not stroke their flag past half-mast, if you know what I’m saying.

Before this show in Afghanistan (card still undetermined), there was:

  • 2006, Diego Sánchez V. Joe Riggs show from the USMC base in Miramar.
  • 2008, “Fight for the Troops” in Fayetteville, NC at Ft. Bragg, raising more than $4 million for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. (Anyone remember that vicious standing KO that Koscheck delivered to Yoshida?)

Some think it’s genius. Other think it smacks of insanity. I say it is both, but as the proud son of a retired Vietnam Veteran, I say it is friggin’ patriotic and UFC should be commended. Ooh-rah!

Written by MMAniac

April 27, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Tito Ortiz gives a black eye to UFC, MMA and JENNA

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MMA star Tito Ortiz in a different kind of cage

Tito Ortiz in the cage he deserves (Source: TMZ)

Well, the Huntington Beach Bad Boy is at it again – those typical ballyhooed shenanigans we have become accustomed where he is concerned.

According to every MMA blog in the universe, specifically Bloody Elbow where I read it first, Tito Ortiz decided being hooked up with the most famous porn starlet on the planet wasn’t enough… he had to resort to his roots and make her face into a Pinata.

Stay classy, Mr. Punishment.

Now, while I believe the about-to-be-regaled group are a collective bunch of bed-wetting troglodytes who would sell a nudie pic of their mothers if it meant not having to go dutch, you have to give props to the gang of misfits that broke this story nationwide – TMZ.com.

Tito Ortiz was just arrested for felony domestic violence at the home he shares with Jenna Jameson. We’re told when cops arrived at the couple’s home in Huntington Beach, CA — Jenna Jameson had “visible injuries.”

Aside from being with her and acting like Barbie and Ken (with bacne… allegedly) at every UFC PPV, the man has twins with her. (No, not those, boys. Head out of gutter.) But this is how he decides to be that father figure. Nice.

Hope he enjoyed his time downtown, because it could cost him his gig, his comeback and his marketing plights on TUF, according to MMAFighting.com:

White remarked that the UFC could release the fighter from the organization for the arrest, saying, “We’re gonna be fair, but we could cut him.”

Cut him?! Should do more than that… like perhaps void his contract on The Ultimate Fighter.

Punishment Athletics” is getting quite a bit of camera time, and that was one of the factors that caused the former champ to coach again on the show.

What also sucks is that while his prime fighting days have taken an exit at Sunny Brook Farm, his coaching and corner days are ahead of him. He’s borderline great at it, but then crap like this highlights the douchebaggery of his ways.

He not only exhibits to the world another bad PR move for an otherwise pure and great sport, but he also determines Jenna is now in his weight class. The video is sad. The charges are coming. The results are harrowing. And yet, the tool sits alone in his own cell.

Enjoy it, Tito. That could be the last cage you see for a long time.

P.S. Any care to this dill in the Octagon with Chuck Liddell now? Thought so.