MMAniacs

If it's UFC, MMA, BJJ or even JKD, it's a BFD to me!

Posts Tagged ‘Dana White

UFC 113: Home of the rematch, revile and really nasty

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Machida versus Shogun in Montreal at UFC 113

A Shogun against a Dragon. You tell me?!

As with back in the day of pre-PPV pugilism, weigh-ins always carry a bit of drama.

Testosterone is overwrought with this juvenile angst that hasn’t been this bad since the town ho asked you to the prom. Boys just can’t control themselves, I suppose. Take Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis. Remember this?

Mike grabs the goods and it’s on. Of course, one of the most famous weigh-ins with Ali and Sonny Liston gave one of the most famous catch phrases, “Fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee.”

Today’s weigh-in for UFC 113 | Machida V. Shogun 2 highlighted everything you want in a pre-fight confrontation – mean mugging, idle threats and candid discussion of bodily functions.

But more on that later.

This pay-per-view has the makings of a great card. A Shogun, a Dragon, a Belcher, a Predator, a Heathen, a Janitor… and what the hell is a Semtex anyway? Here’s the highlights and MMAniac’s musings:

1. The reverb – Cote v. Belcher

Don’t sleep here. This could be the ever-heralded “Fight of the Night” and the home town will go bananas. Why? Ever since UFC 90 and a knee surgery that shelved Patrick Cote, dude has angled to get back in the cage and show that he is more than a chin and punch.

And Belcher is nowhere close to being stupid. He knows about the knee, the layoff and the home crowd. He will work to knock Cote clean out and do it early. Both can submit. Both can bang. Both will fight balls out. Both wants the win. One has a rehabbed knee and the other knows how to kick the crap out of it.

MMAniac’s Submission: Belcher – Unanimous decision.


2. The really nasty – Kimbo v. Mitrione

Here’s the “more on that later” brought to you by Kimbo Slice.

Get that?

“I’m gonna thump. I’m banging with him,” Kimbo said of his upcoming fight with Matt Mitrione. “I’m gonna try to make him bleed, piss, fart, [expletive], throw up, burp, whatever the human body does.”

I get it. Two years ago, when Kimbo got punked on national TV, I would lost so much money if you were to tell me he would be on a UFC, Dana-White-promoted PPV. But there he is discussing pee-pee and the devil’s business right there on TV.

Since that fateful night, he has learned a ground game. He already has the cinder blocks attached to his wrists, the bravado you can’t buy and a beard I think could kick the ass of half of the people in Strikeforce. And if lands half a suplex like he did on my man, Houston Alexander… son!

However, “Meathead” has some quick hands… and good aim. Personally, I can’t stand the dude and laughed out loud when that slob took off his shirt at weigh-ins, but you can’t deny his – albeit rotten egg raw – skill.

This fight is going to go 0 – 100 in seconds but after the first round, it’s over. They will both pass out. Kimbo’s cardio is reminiscent of my father’s… and he’s 70. Mitrione – “Pro”-ish football or not would get gassed running down the block to the ice cream man.

MMAniac’s Submission: Kimbo, 2nd, TKO (probably through ground and pound)


Semtex and Kos staring each other down for UFC 113

These #$%&* are going to get ready to rumble!

3. The revile – Koscheck v. Daley

Make no mistake. These two will not exchange gifts at some random “White Elephant” during the holidays. Rather, they will yank the tusks out of the grill of said pachyderm and stab the other in the jugular.

It’s no secret that while Josh can knock a guy clean out (ask Yoshida about that), Daley has a pack of dynamite in his left hand.

Dude can flat-out mash; however, he will be wary of Koscheck taking this to the ground at the first sniff of tweeting birds.

He has a nice sprawl (ask Jake Shields) and MEMO to Kos: This guy ain’t Anthony Johnson.

This fight has to stay standing. As much as these two loathe each other, I’m certain neither Daley nor Koscheck would be thrilled with a split decision win. Also, there’s a clear “Who’s Next” moniker going to this one for a shot at GSP.

Oh, and then there’s this from Dana White via Twitter:

Gsp will be the next coach on the next season of tuf and the winner of kos and daley will be the other coach. Big fight for them sat nite!!!

Not that I can see Georges St. Pierre exchanging “Your Mama” jokes with either Koscheck or Daley, but MMA fans have been of good heart that the Welterweight icon would get on TUF 12. Now he’s there and either would be a nice counterpart.

However, I think Koscheck’s ego gets the best of him, he stays on his feet and gets knocked on his back.

MMAniac’s Submission: Daley, 3rd, KO


Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua stand off and stare down

Lyoto looks like he has a chip. He's going to need it.

4. The rematch – Machida v. Rua 2

Most of us are martial artists, I would presume. All of us are aficionados of a discipline. Machida is a master of both.

Some folk have a hard time telling the difference between a Lyoto Machida fight and a sleep with Prince Valium – both have the same effect. However, I love his game – his methodical approach, his calculated strikes, his unmistakable delivery.

That said, I hated his first defense. Although he came out and represented, we all saw why we loved Shogun in Pride so much. The man is a machine.

“Don’t leave it in the hands of the judges,” Dana White usually clamors.

And for good reason. Apparently, most of them have glaucoma. This was clearly evident with Rua lost the fight.

MMA fans were outraged and immediately demanded the rematch. Much to our delight, Dana White continued to be the people’s champion.

Here we are. Ready to rumble. It’s time. And all that mess.

You know the chess match is taking place and both will change how they approach this fight in comparison to last time. That is with one exception – Shogun will kick and kick and kick the living hell out of Machida’s legs. With no wheels, it’s hard for the Dragon to get rolling.

Lyoto knows this, which is why I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes this to the ground in the championship rounds and works a submission. After all, who is his little buddy? A big, nasty Spider.

In addition, I think the dealbreaker is not Anderson’s tutelage or Machida’s skill. Rather, it’s Dana White. This is a man who greeted Rua in the cage with accolades, “You won the fight.”

Although that was true by most accounts, it put a dragon-sized turd chip on the shoulder of Lyoto Machida. He’s pissed and he’s got something to prove. Don’t blink, but he will.

MMAniac’s Submission: Machida, 4th, TKO and still Light Heavyweight Champion

See you Sunday. I would say tomorrow night, but I have a feeling I will… well, I won’t be here, let’s just say that.

TIME: What does it take to be “influential” anyway?

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Dana White snubbed on Time 100 list at #96

Come on, Time. Tell him what influential means. (Courtesy: Esquire)

Every year, Time magazine puts out this much ballyhooed list of the “100 most influential people in the world.”

For the most part, it accurately provides a dazzling introspective on the people on this planet who are considered “movers and shakers.” Only this year, the magazine showed its colors.

Typically, they hide the list behind an array of tech geeks, politicians, athletes who created more trends than signatures, Hollywood celebs who are big philanthropists and the obligatory misanthrope that no one can explain but everyone admires.

This year, this list of douchebaggery included the likes of:

  • #1 Lady Gaga – Heads up the list with fashion that smacks of dumpster diving or shopping at Goodwill
  • #6 James Cameron – Just beat the #1 movie of all time with another one of his own flicks
  • #25 Neil Patrick Harris – For a funny show and bad show tunes?!
  • #28 Mo’Nique – She deserve every bit of love she gets lately (See? I’m not all heartless)
  • #32 Taylor Swift – No, I still don’t know why. In the studio, nice. On the stage, where’s the flying tomatoes
  • #40 Jon Stewart – If you catch the greatness of “The Daily Show,” you know why
  • #55 Billy Graham – Now, THIS is influential!
  • #84 Bristol Palin – Really? She gets knocked up and has her mama talk trash about it. Yeah, great stick she wields.

So, you would think if there is anyone in life to be more “influential” than Lady effin’ Gaga, who would it be?

Don’t hold your breath, MMA lifers. Our betrothed Dana White is cleaning up the gutters at #96. Seriously?! Here’s the write-up:

The sport White champions is officially called mixed martial arts, but he and his partners successfully branded it Ultimate Fighting, the name of their outfit, and that’s how it’s almost universally known — to the chagrin of other MMA organizers. By doing so, he has revived a spectacle that had fallen into such disrepute that it was once described as “human cockfighting.” Now professional boxing wishes it were Ultimate Fighting. White is the UFC’s public face, most pugnacious booster, No. 1 tweeter and most irrepressible fan — the ruler of Fight Club.

The guy doesn’t record music with a nice hook. He doesn’t drown policy in red tape (and gag other politicians with it). He doesn’t even minister to the world’s leaders. He has only taken a once-considered circus act into one of the top money earning sports in the country, in terms of brand loyalty, exposure and oh yeah, influence.

ESPN has put MMA in the crawl, for crying out loud. Yet, there’s Dana, scrubbing the bottom along with pond scum and those nasty bed mites you read about in investigative hotel reporting.

Pugilism used to be the great uniter of this country. Consider the glory days of boxing with Joe Louis and Rocky Marciano. Or more recent, in the PPV heyday with Sugar Ray, Marvelous and Iron Mike.

And now, fans of the fisticuffs have come back together – a little more rowdy, shredded with HGH (allegedly) and draped in an Affliction tee they bought in the Juniors section at JCPenney.

And for that, Dana gets #96 for his trouble. Ah well, where’s that birdcage? Polly needs a cage liner.

Written by MMAniac

May 1, 2010 at 8:43 am

UFC Fight for the Troops going to Afghanistan soon

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Josh Koscheck versus Yoshiyuki Yoshida

From 2008 - The first. Certainly not the last. (Courtesy: UFC)

According to the Las Vegas Sun, Dana White is getting the camouflaged band back together for the third edition of “Fight for the Troops.”

He believes the biggest problem to date is how to take the equipment to a dangerous war zone – possibly fly everything in by helicopter the same day as the event, put on a show and get out as quickly as possible.

“We’re going to chopper in at night. There are a lot of people who are scared. (Announcer Joe Rogan) said, ‘Oh (expletive), we’re going to do what?’ We’re going to fly in, set this thing up as fast as we can and get the (expletive) out of there.”

And don’t sleep. This is the USO Tour in large doses of beef roids.

What Dana does with the machine he runs is how it should be. You know how many soldiers are die-hard MMA fans?

Here’s a hint: they hunt, protect and kill for a living. You would think horse racing may not stroke their flag past half-mast, if you know what I’m saying.

Before this show in Afghanistan (card still undetermined), there was:

  • 2006, Diego Sánchez V. Joe Riggs show from the USMC base in Miramar.
  • 2008, “Fight for the Troops” in Fayetteville, NC at Ft. Bragg, raising more than $4 million for the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. (Anyone remember that vicious standing KO that Koscheck delivered to Yoshida?)

Some think it’s genius. Other think it smacks of insanity. I say it is both, but as the proud son of a retired Vietnam Veteran, I say it is friggin’ patriotic and UFC should be commended. Ooh-rah!

Written by MMAniac

April 27, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Tito Ortiz gives a black eye to UFC, MMA and JENNA

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MMA star Tito Ortiz in a different kind of cage

Tito Ortiz in the cage he deserves (Source: TMZ)

Well, the Huntington Beach Bad Boy is at it again – those typical ballyhooed shenanigans we have become accustomed where he is concerned.

According to every MMA blog in the universe, specifically Bloody Elbow where I read it first, Tito Ortiz decided being hooked up with the most famous porn starlet on the planet wasn’t enough… he had to resort to his roots and make her face into a Pinata.

Stay classy, Mr. Punishment.

Now, while I believe the about-to-be-regaled group are a collective bunch of bed-wetting troglodytes who would sell a nudie pic of their mothers if it meant not having to go dutch, you have to give props to the gang of misfits that broke this story nationwide – TMZ.com.

Tito Ortiz was just arrested for felony domestic violence at the home he shares with Jenna Jameson. We’re told when cops arrived at the couple’s home in Huntington Beach, CA — Jenna Jameson had “visible injuries.”

Aside from being with her and acting like Barbie and Ken (with bacne… allegedly) at every UFC PPV, the man has twins with her. (No, not those, boys. Head out of gutter.) But this is how he decides to be that father figure. Nice.

Hope he enjoyed his time downtown, because it could cost him his gig, his comeback and his marketing plights on TUF, according to MMAFighting.com:

White remarked that the UFC could release the fighter from the organization for the arrest, saying, “We’re gonna be fair, but we could cut him.”

Cut him?! Should do more than that… like perhaps void his contract on The Ultimate Fighter.

Punishment Athletics” is getting quite a bit of camera time, and that was one of the factors that caused the former champ to coach again on the show.

What also sucks is that while his prime fighting days have taken an exit at Sunny Brook Farm, his coaching and corner days are ahead of him. He’s borderline great at it, but then crap like this highlights the douchebaggery of his ways.

He not only exhibits to the world another bad PR move for an otherwise pure and great sport, but he also determines Jenna is now in his weight class. The video is sad. The charges are coming. The results are harrowing. And yet, the tool sits alone in his own cell.

Enjoy it, Tito. That could be the last cage you see for a long time.

P.S. Any care to this dill in the Octagon with Chuck Liddell now? Thought so.

Jake Shields about to strike in the UFC

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Some say that a picture is worth 1,000 words. Well, aside from the 998 that must be trolling through the methodical and splendid mind of Dana White, I can imagine two that he is thinking when it comes to Strikeforce, “Suck it!”

Take this picture from the Aldo V. Faber broadcast:

Jake and Dana sitting in a tree...

If Dana looked any happier to be sitting next to this guy, I would say... well, never mind

What other conclusion can you make to this chess move other than if Anderson Silva plows through Chael Sonnen (which will be no cake walk, rest assured, as he is already talking smack), Jake Shields will be first to stick his Knight 3 right up the Rook of the Spider?

That or have tea with the Queen of GSP? Either way, you get the point. UFC – here he comes and so is a superfight to make our MMA pants go crazy!

According to MMAFighting.com, Dana is “very confident” about MMA’s hottest free agent joining the UFC roster.

“The deal with Shields, is that there’s some discrepancy as to whether it’s 45 or 60 days he has left on his contract,” White told a group of reporters after the press conference. “So he can work that out with the knuckleheads (Strikeforce), and when he does, we’ll jump in there.”

As the former Strikeforce champ is feeling froggy, he believes there is some business when he does jump into UFC, according to FightLine.com:

“I just want to fight the best in the world,” Shields stated. “I wanna fight the best. I mean, it doesn’t mean I’m going to the UFC, but I would like to fight guys like Anderson [Silva] and GSP. That doesn’t mean I’ll get them for sure but those are some guys that I’d love to fight one day.”

So, if that adage is true and a picture does say a 1,000 words, imagine the fully involved and introspective conversation that first check Dana cuts will have with Jake. Either way, let’s get this on!

Written by MMAniac

April 26, 2010 at 2:56 am