UFC 113: Home of the rematch, revile and really nasty

A Shogun against a Dragon. You tell me?!

As with back in the day of pre-PPV pugilism, weigh-ins always carry a bit of drama.

Testosterone is overwrought with this juvenile angst that hasn’t been this bad since the town ho asked you to the prom. Boys just can’t control themselves, I suppose. Take Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis. Remember this?

Mike grabs the goods and it’s on. Of course, one of the most famous weigh-ins with Ali and Sonny Liston gave one of the most famous catch phrases, “Fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee.”

Today’s weigh-in for UFC 113 | Machida V. Shogun 2 highlighted everything you want in a pre-fight confrontation – mean mugging, idle threats and candid discussion of bodily functions.

But more on that later.

This pay-per-view has the makings of a great card. A Shogun, a Dragon, a Belcher, a Predator, a Heathen, a Janitor… and what the hell is a Semtex anyway? Here’s the highlights and MMAniac’s musings:

1. The reverb – Cote v. Belcher

Don’t sleep here. This could be the ever-heralded “Fight of the Night” and the home town will go bananas. Why? Ever since UFC 90 and a knee surgery that shelved Patrick Cote, dude has angled to get back in the cage and show that he is more than a chin and punch.

And Belcher is nowhere close to being stupid. He knows about the knee, the layoff and the home crowd. He will work to knock Cote clean out and do it early. Both can submit. Both can bang. Both will fight balls out. Both wants the win. One has a rehabbed knee and the other knows how to kick the crap out of it.

MMAniac’s Submission: Belcher – Unanimous decision.

2. The really nasty – Kimbo v. Mitrione

Here’s the “more on that later” brought to you by Kimbo Slice.

Get that?

“I’m gonna thump. I’m banging with him,” Kimbo said of his upcoming fight with Matt Mitrione. “I’m gonna try to make him bleed, piss, fart, [expletive], throw up, burp, whatever the human body does.”

I get it. Two years ago, when Kimbo got punked on national TV, I would lost so much money if you were to tell me he would be on a UFC, Dana-White-promoted PPV. But there he is discussing pee-pee and the devil’s business right there on TV.

Since that fateful night, he has learned a ground game. He already has the cinder blocks attached to his wrists, the bravado you can’t buy and a beard I think could kick the ass of half of the people in Strikeforce. And if lands half a suplex like he did on my man, Houston Alexander… son!

However, “Meathead” has some quick hands… and good aim. Personally, I can’t stand the dude and laughed out loud when that slob took off his shirt at weigh-ins, but you can’t deny his – albeit rotten egg raw – skill.

This fight is going to go 0 – 100 in seconds but after the first round, it’s over. They will both pass out. Kimbo’s cardio is reminiscent of my father’s… and he’s 70. Mitrione – “Pro”-ish football or not would get gassed running down the block to the ice cream man.

MMAniac’s Submission: Kimbo, 2nd, TKO (probably through ground and pound)

These #$%&* are going to get ready to rumble!

3. The revile – Koscheck v. Daley

Make no mistake. These two will not exchange gifts at some random “White Elephant” during the holidays. Rather, they will yank the tusks out of the grill of said pachyderm and stab the other in the jugular.

It’s no secret that while Josh can knock a guy clean out (ask Yoshida about that), Daley has a pack of dynamite in his left hand.

Dude can flat-out mash; however, he will be wary of Koscheck taking this to the ground at the first sniff of tweeting birds.

He has a nice sprawl (ask Jake Shields) and MEMO to Kos: This guy ain’t Anthony Johnson.

This fight has to stay standing. As much as these two loathe each other, I’m certain neither Daley nor Koscheck would be thrilled with a split decision win. Also, there’s a clear “Who’s Next” moniker going to this one for a shot at GSP.

Oh, and then there’s this from Dana White via Twitter:

Gsp will be the next coach on the next season of tuf and the winner of kos and daley will be the other coach. Big fight for them sat nite!!!

Not that I can see Georges St. Pierre exchanging “Your Mama” jokes with either Koscheck or Daley, but MMA fans have been of good heart that the Welterweight icon would get on TUF 12. Now he’s there and either would be a nice counterpart.

However, I think Koscheck’s ego gets the best of him, he stays on his feet and gets knocked on his back.

MMAniac’s Submission: Daley, 3rd, KO

Lyoto looks like he has a chip. He's going to need it.

4. The rematch – Machida v. Rua 2

Most of us are martial artists, I would presume. All of us are aficionados of a discipline. Machida is a master of both.

Some folk have a hard time telling the difference between a Lyoto Machida fight and a sleep with Prince Valium – both have the same effect. However, I love his game – his methodical approach, his calculated strikes, his unmistakable delivery.

That said, I hated his first defense. Although he came out and represented, we all saw why we loved Shogun in Pride so much. The man is a machine.

“Don’t leave it in the hands of the judges,” Dana White usually clamors.

And for good reason. Apparently, most of them have glaucoma. This was clearly evident with Rua lost the fight.

MMA fans were outraged and immediately demanded the rematch. Much to our delight, Dana White continued to be the people’s champion.

Here we are. Ready to rumble. It’s time. And all that mess.

You know the chess match is taking place and both will change how they approach this fight in comparison to last time. That is with one exception – Shogun will kick and kick and kick the living hell out of Machida’s legs. With no wheels, it’s hard for the Dragon to get rolling.

Lyoto knows this, which is why I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes this to the ground in the championship rounds and works a submission. After all, who is his little buddy? A big, nasty Spider.

In addition, I think the dealbreaker is not Anderson’s tutelage or Machida’s skill. Rather, it’s Dana White. This is a man who greeted Rua in the cage with accolades, “You won the fight.”

Although that was true by most accounts, it put a dragon-sized turd chip on the shoulder of Lyoto Machida. He’s pissed and he’s got something to prove. Don’t blink, but he will.

MMAniac’s Submission: Machida, 4th, TKO and still Light Heavyweight Champion

See you Sunday. I would say tomorrow night, but I have a feeling I will… well, I won’t be here, let’s just say that.